I'm Not Over You
by icicle33
Summary: You're not supposed to care. You're not supposed to miss her. Post 4.13. Brittany/Santana.


**Disclaimer: **The Glee characters and universe belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox. I own nothing and am making no profit. Please do not sue me. The title of this fic comes from the Gavin Degraw song, "Not Over You".

**The adorable art on the banner of this fic is by faedoodles on tumblr. It's not mine. I just thought it was lovely. All credit goes to her and you can check out more doodles on her tumblr page.**

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**Title:** _ I'm Not Over You_

**Author:** Icicle33

**Pairings:** Santana/Brittany

**Rating:** T

**Words:** ~600

**Warnings:** character vignette, adult language, angst, spoilers for 4.13

**Summary:** _You're not supposed to care. You're not supposed to miss her._

**Author's Note: **A reaction to episode 4.13. Santana is not over Brittany and seeing her with Sam has only stirred up old feelings.

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_**I'm Not Over You**_

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**xXx**

She was your best friend, your better half. Your _everything_. You're not supposed to care. You're not supposed to miss her. After all, _you_ were the one that left, the one that moved on to bigger and better things. Yet, you never realized that you were leaving your heart behind. Your body and mind may have left McKinley, but your heart didn't get the memo.

_How pathetic. _

You're pathetic, pining after your best friend, a super senior, a stupid blonde. But she's never been stupid, has she? No matter how blonde she is. Brittany has always had this inane goodness about her, this ability to see the best in people, to see the best in _you_. When everyone else doubted you, when they hated you, alienated you, when your grandmother disowned you, she was there. She always has been.

And how did you repay her? By leaving her. By not making time for her.

You deserve everything you get. All the pain you feel. You deserved to get thrown out of school, to lose your scholarship, to have Brittany hate you.

She's with _him_ now. That idiot with the guppy lips. That hideous bleached blond hair. He possesses less brain cells than a five-year-old, yet he's been responsible for the death of two of your relationships.

It's not like you expected her to stay heartbroken forever. You knew that she would move on eventually, but why did it have to be with him...of all people? The one person that she knew would drive you completely mental and over the edge.

It's almost as if she did it on purpose, trying to grate you, eat through your last nerve. At least, that's what you wanted to believe when you first heard the news.

Deep down, you know that Brittany isn't like that. You know that she's not vengeful. She's much too innocent for that, too kind. Her mind doesn't work that way. She actually likes the prick. More than likes him if the way she laughs at his ridiculous walrus impressions are any indication. She has that besotted smile on her face, that adorable pert nose of hers crinkles and the smile reaches all the way up to her eyes. It makes her fucking beautiful, more so than usual.

You know that look, her _adoration_. You knew that she would date again, but you never imagined that she would direct that look at someone else. That was _your_ look. _Your_ love.

You've lost her. To _fucking trouty mouth_. The irony of the situation isn't lost on you. It's so sad that it's almost funny. Going back to McKinley is no longer an option. It was once your home, but the truth is you never felt comfortable there. It was all an act, a tough charade carefully constructed to survive, just like you always do.

There's nothing left for you here. Seeing them together is like a stake through the heart. You cannot bear it for another second, and if you have to watch them suck face one more time, you might actually gauge out Blondie's eyes. Going back to school is out of the question too, so is going home.

You only have one option left. Your original plan, to take on the big city.

If it only it weren't so fucking terrifying. But what else do you have to lose?

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**A/N**: Thank you so much for reading. This is my first Glee fic, but I plan on writing more. Should I write a part 2 from Brittany's POV? Maybe Sam's? Let me know.

Comments are love.

~Icicle


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